Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Overwhelming breakthroughs of a Pre- 23 Year old

Its a countdown of almost 48 hours till midnight tomorrow. Can you feel me embracing it? making peace with the fact? as opposed to my previous post where i was insidiously(to myself) leading myself to believe i was depressed.

Yes, Yes yes...and a big string of NOs.

Like the title suggests I am turning 23. It is one of an Odd feeling that I feel younger than I did last year(ironic much?) this number (23) gives me comfort because at this age I feel wiser, beautiful, essentially more successful than I did last year. I have achieved quite a milestone in the past year, done things I thought I Should have put off for later, however circumstances co-erced me to oblige with my dreams. Would you have resisted?
But most importantly I believed in myself.

** Correction, went back to believing in myself. It is so easy to self doubt, yet harder to validate your self and actions. you tend to underestimate yourself. Sometimes I was very hard on myself, so hard that I would have prepared for failure just so when I failed it would feel like it was a decision I made. & Guess what, apparently it was a decision I had made.

As hard as it may be to admit (I would never say it out loud, writing makes it easier for me to express myself more eloquently, and gives me the safety of being incognito ) every little inconvenience or obstacle I have come across has been somewhat of a mixture of bad luck, timing, fate and my own decisions. Decisions that i am sure with the rise of emotion have not been the best weighed.

Just to drift off for a bit , i fell in love with this quote today because it describes what i have been thinking and feeling for this week. "A modern beauty can not be defined by her perfect proportions; in fact she can not be defined at all, nor can she be stereotyped.. This is the reason why, to me beauty is different, we see it - we love it and want a piece of it - once we try to define it - it disappears in the air." 



Now back to my topic.

Back to the expose of thoughts and the year leading to midnight tomorrow.

Maybe Ive found myself in more than one situation hesitant, lost , confused. I could go on and use every single possible synonym but much benefit that would give me. there is sitll a long way on the journey i have mapped out for myself. mind you this journey has been tweaked, adjusted completely changed in my lifetime. Every day that passes is just another oppurtunity for new idea, for creative trouble and for the chance to do it right again.


I am blessed with the most beautiful and supportive family anyone (In my opinion) could have. We have clashed quite often, but i think its part of the realisation that human nature has never reached perfections. but you know you are blessed once you can overlook these imperfections and still unconditionally love the person right infront of you. 


That is the message i would remind my kid self all through out. I have had moments where that message had been forgotten and Like a Life-blind person tried to feel my way back to it. felt my way back with fights, hurt, pain until eventually i found the correct door knob that turned into happiness. or at least my version of happiness.

Contentment.

tomorrow night i am jetting off home. back to Beirut, back to where i feel at ease. Abu Dhabi had always been a home to me but recently the number one spot has been filled with Beirut, and Abu dhabi takes 2nd to it.

I can go and on. but these are my thoughts theyre spilling over, And i am worried that i may say my inner most feelings, and those are private. maybe i can write some more tomorrow.

but first let me mull on my last day being 22.


all the cosmic love xoxoxo
A. 
 


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Patience Diary

Lets just say , that patience has never been my strongest suit.

But i am nothing but moments these days. Moments with life. Adventure is calling me ...and i am keen to follow. But patience must be practiced, for the pieces to fall together. Patience...it really is a new concept i am learning.


However, since sooner or later we all must learn to embrace the finer virtues of character, Life periodically leads me into situations in which I am forced to experience patience– and thereby discover its secret value.
I may or may not divulge into the details of my life that lead me to this conclusion, and force me unto this predicament.

I am not pleased that i have to do the exact thing i hate to do. Wait! but i catch myself at moments calmly letting go and tackling my reasoning in a different direction. Instead , i put off what i cannot do and focus on what is feasible in the mean time.

just because you cannot perform 100 % at the moment, does not mean you should not do the 5 % anyway;. in the end it all adds up to it. but the key is to know when to venture out, and when to embrace the hesitant spirit you endear from time to time.


and as i visited my trusted friend and oracle "GOOGLE" i came across those 7 commandments to mastering patience.
Please note that I do not own any of the below, this is an article written by one Mr. Henrik Edberg.
 
Find it on the following website : http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2010/09/16/patience/

“God bestows upon one man genius without patience and upon another man patience without genius. The relative achievements of the two are often surprising.”
Walter C. Klein
“Patience is the companion of wisdom.”
St. Augustine
“If I have made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention than to any other talent.”
Sir Isaac Newton
One of the most helpful qualities a person can have if s/he wants to grow is to be patient. With patience and persistence you can overcome pretty much anything.
But why is it hard to be patient? How can you improve your patience? And how can patience help you out practically in life?
Here are seven timeless thoughts that may give you some answers to such questions.
Social programming can stand in the way.
“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?”
Paul Sweeney
Everything is moving fast in today’s society. Instant gratification is default setting in many minds.
I’m not saying this to rail against today’s society. I’m just saying it to give at least a partial explanation why patience is hard to understand and use to your advantage.
Social programming doesn’t pay much attention to patience. It wants you to do more right now instead. And after a few years here you may want to have more things right now. And the thought of delaying gratification may seem a bit… weird.
2. With patience you’ll get it.
“He that can have patience, can have what he will.”
Benjamin Franklin
This may not be such a popular thought. People may not want to hear about it.
Still it’s what every successful person has had. And so they chipped away. Practised day in and day out.
It often looks like they have some massive talent or big stroke of luck when they become successful. That might be the case. But people may not see all the years of hard work that came before that big break. Or they don’t want to see it and instead rationalize it as “huge talent” or “luck”. That way they don’t have to think about the fact that they also have the option of putting in all that work. And that they by doing things that way could perhaps someday even outdo the dreams they have right now.
It’s easier to just put it down as big talent or luck. And keep dreaming about quick fixes and magic pills.
3. Don’t give up yet.
“Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.”
Soren Kierkegaard
“It’s not that I’m so smart,
it’s just that I stay with problems longer.“

Albert Einstein
Since society tells us to look for quick fixes it’s easy to make the mistake of giving up to soon. After you have failed perhaps 1-5 times. That’s the “normal” thing to do. But what could have happened if someone just kept going after that? And for each failure learned more and more about what works?
I think people often make a mistake of giving up too early. Your mind probably has a reasonable timeframe for success. This might not correspond to a realistic timeframe though.
It’s useful to take a break from advertised perspectives and let more realistic perspectives seep into your mind. Learn from people who have gone where you want to go. Talk to them. Read what they have to say in books or online. This will not give you complete plan but a clearer perspective of what is needed to achieve what you want.
Now, that’s not to say that you should never quit. But it can be helpful to keep going on your current path for a while longer.
And that’s not to say that you should do the same thing over and over in exactly the same manner. It’s better to do and get an experience. Take the lessons you can learn from that real life experience. And then adjust how you do things as you try again.
4. It gives you an advantage.
“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”
Thomas Jefferson
While other people fly off the handle you can remain cool and patient. While other people give up after trying a few times you keep moving. While others run in circles chasing the next quick solution to their problems you stay steadily on your path.
5. It’s a form of protection.
“Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will be powerless to vex your mind.”
Leonardo Da Vinci
This is a wonderful point. With patience wrongs or failure will not feel like the end of the world. They no longer hold such a large emotional power over you that you just give up. You know that if you just keep going and perhaps adjust how you do things then your life will improve.
6. Build it.
“Patience can’t be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it.”
Eknath Easwaran
“We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”
Helen Keller
The more you can remain patient the easier it gets. It’s a muscle you build over months and years of time.
As Keller says, life can teach you to become more patient. During the rough parts of life you often have no choice but to be patient. These are the times that will especially strengthen your patience muscle.
When we are young we get much of what we want instantly from our parents and other grownups. As we become adults we learn that people won’t give us everything we want anymore. If we want to have the things we really want we often have to learn to be patient.
Otherwise we may time after time wind up in a loop where we get things we kinda want right now to cover up the real and deeper wants. This can bring dissatisfaction after the initial buzz of newness dissipates. A vague knowing at the back of our minds. As we consume more right now to make that uneasiness go away.
7. Be patient with yourself.
“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”
St. Francis de Sales
This is a very important thing to keep in mind when it comes to personal development and life. Because things will not always go as planned. You will fail. You will bail out because of fear. You will become confused. You will do things you know you shouldn’t have done. You will probably do these things more than once.
Don’t beat yourself up about it for two weeks or three months. Or give up.
Instead, be smart and patient with yourself. And get back up on that horse and back in the saddle again tomorrow.

Love ,

A
xoxox

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Getting it off my mind in a moment of Confusion

I don't know what it is that gets me drifting off and lacking concentration. Things somehow don't turn up the way i anticipate them to sometimes,but then again most of the time they work out exactly the way i want them too. it s so confusing , i feel like am in this bubble. am escaping to the future and making plans and plans and plans jst to avoid being in the now..if thats not red flags flashing right in front of me i don't know what is.

I'm not living now am trying my best to do it but then i drift off too the future..am always one step ahead trying to plan everything...a million and one back up plans in case one of them doesn't work out. i can have a safety net.
.
I cant write lately. am lost for words, and my brain is blocked!  i want to write(not that i don't) i need to write, but its  not coming out. i want to read also but i don't have time.
but again i stress that i want to write.

Love,

xoxox

A.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Truth


The Truth about me …
Truth; be it ugly, be it beautiful; it’s my path. On this path I have been taking very often, many times have I thought about things irrelevant to each other. In accordance to the idea of perfection in my mind, nothing I thought of was perfect, or near enough to consider. At some point in life I gave up on certain things, and aspects of perfection. I then realized that perfection should not be the utopian conception of the world to it. Instead perfection when I seek it, should be the reflection of what makes me happy. At some other point, I forget when I went back to believing in exactly that which I gave up on.
Along the way, on this journey of self discovery I learnt to give the benefit of the doubt. Not only to people, but to life as well. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be living, we wouldn’t meet amazing people along the way. Nor would we value the ones we already have. Never would we turn depression into a driving force, motivating us to search for that comfort and go and defy life.
Dear reader, do you suppose you know what perfection is? What the truth is? Who you are? Let me ask you this, if not for your faith in life and people, would you sometimes attempt to do things you would never in normal circumstances do. Do you ever find yourself along a path of someone you don’t know, a random somebody that later on becomes an important somebody?
I have evolved, I have been lost. If you were to ask me who are you? I would still tell you I am still trying to figure me out. That is the beauty of self discovery, knowing that you don’t know. Getting excited to learn more, to know the truth about YOU.
Everyone of us has that inner child in them that never loses hope. That child we all beseech from time to time is smart. Life is about living, life is about trying, getting hurt, smiling, failing, succeeding, competing, chilling, singing writing, and observing.
This isn’t a poem, no. This isn’t a confession, hell no. This is a part of me, a part of my thinking. Am thinking this is where my life begins. I feel like I am ME for the moment, and I know in a while I will slip away and back to not being me. Back to trying to understand me, but at this moment I am in perfect clarity. I know who I am, what I want, and where I am most importantly integrated in this never ending struggle we call life.
When we look around, and picture everything, we see everything clearly and correctly. I am thinking where am I? Where do I stand? Yes, this is where my life begins. This is where I begin,
Life is just that...Life !!!

* From a Writer who is Hopelessly and Dangerously in Love with Life* 



Love

A.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Photography 101

Shot through my lens. The beauty I see in the world between Abu Dhabi,UAE and Beirut, lebanon.












Sunday, February 12, 2012

My Birthday is just around the Corner, 23 !!! Yikes


For March 1st, 1989(in these times 2012)


There are some people in the world who see their birthday as just another day, I find that really sad. It’s not just another day. It’s your day, the day you came into the world however many years ago. I am sure that there are many people in your life who have been touched by you, by something you’ve done or said. If you weren’t there, would they have that special moment. Most likely not. Each individual helps shape and enrich another’s life and without them with their life be as full as it is? If I think about my life and the people in it… well firstly I wouldn’t exist without my parents. That is an obvious statement. But the lives of my parents were not simply created to reproduce and make me… my parents have had lives of their own and experiences that I may not have in my own, they will therefore have a wisdom and knowledge that I will not and that wisdom is something they would be able to impart to me and hopefully make my life that little bit easier.
Then if you take my friends, there are some who are just along for the ride and I think that you can work that out pretty on in your relationship, there are others however who will be your friends for the rest of your life. They will help you through the bad times and be with you through the good. If these people weren’t around they would not have had an impact on your life and therefore they would not have made you the person that you are today. That is why birthdays are so important, you are celebrating the people in your life who influence and impact your life and they help shape who you are.


After that little ramble, which probably made no sense at all… there is a contradiction. I think people should actively celebrate their birthdays and make the most of them, yet I am loathed to turn 23 and would just like to miss out this number completely(not really but u get my drift), at least it’s another two years until I’m 25.. I think I really would burst into tears or something, if that was the age I was about to turn! There is nothing wrong with getting older, you become wiser. I just enjoyed my teenage years immensely and the first two years of my 20′s have been pretty epic too, I think you just need to read the rest of my blog to see why. Maybe it’s cynicism but perhaps after 23, the responsibility really kicks in and there is no turning back… you really are an adult! I guess I just want to cling on to being as immature as possible for as long as possible.
So turning 23 is something I’m sort of not looking forward to but slowly embracing. I just wish my mother and little brother could be here to celebrate with me as well..
 This year am throwing a girls only get together at my place, Baroque/Masquerade ball theme. Just cosy and all that glitters.

Now let’s flip this morbid posting upside down! The plus side of my birthday this year… is that it falls on a Thursday, it kick starts my weekend! And i have taken it as a leave of absence from Work. I intend to not work on my Birthday
To everyone else who has a March birthday… in fact everyone. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Why Democracy?

I have tried to present the ideals in which democracy is defended under, why it is defended and I have also used quotes to strengthen my arguments from selected readings on democracy. I have also included possible refutations against democracy as an ideal. In the end I wrapped the conclusion in what is my own opinion. And how I feel about the matter.
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“I want to go back to believing in everything, but I cannot. I believe what I am told, I go with what is the norm nowadays, I humble my diversity and I conform”. That is the voice of many, in near and far away societies and that is what by many is considered to be the unfairness of democracy. But I? I think there is a driving force behind the body that is the democracy, and that driving force is the majority of the people. I also believe that the majority being human -adopting democratic ruling- may be in the wrong, but must be doing something right. In almost everything in life you will never get complete consent of everybody, there will always be somebody who disagrees. Ofcourse you could go on to engineer consensus from the subjects, as do many states, but that would always backfire in some way. In This paper I will be raising the question of whether or not Democracy could be an ideal way of ruling or no. If it were to be the ideal the way, how are we supposed to make it more accepted even to the people that do not support it? To support my arguments I will be using the following texts: “Is Democracy special?” by Brian Barry, and “Considerations on Representative Government” By John Stuart Mill.
Some maintain that democratic procedures are intrinsically better than the alternatives since they allow people to share equally in the political decisions which shape their lives.(Mills, 89). Democracy is a system whereby a government power comes from the majority of people through a process best known as elections. Mills not only supports democracy but he in turn also gives justifications as to why it is better. Through the electoral process, every single individual gets the opportunity to voice their opinions, in that every one participates in the elections by voting. In that way the opinions of everybody are taken into consideration. We can look upon this as a way the government allows its citizens a certain measurement of power. Now the counterargument would be that even though they are allowed to vote, their votes are still excluded when the only vote taken into consideration is the one with the support of the majority of the people. But that isn’t true, that is why in democratic systems, every 4 years or so the main body(or foundations) of the previously elected government changes. Giving chance for different results every time around. So in a sense we can say that the combination of the majority is constantly changing with the passage of time. People supporting certain views this year may not be supporting it the next.
Democracy promotes equality and understanding, and it is mainly for the good of the people. It promotes the general welfare and encourages citizens to develop their intellectual and moral capacities.(Mills 89-90). By encouraging citizens no matter their opinions to vote for what they believe in no matter the results, that in itself is encouraging them to start thinking of why they would want to support a certain form of government and not the other. By starting to think of the pros and cons of any situation and of the choices they will be making, this process of thinking gets them to ask questions; when asking questions they hopefully will find the answers that would allow them to make the right decisions according to their situations. There is no difficulty in showing that the ideally best form of government is that in which the sovereignty, or supreme controlling power in the last resort, is vested in the entire aggregate of the community: every citizen not only having a voice in the exercise of that ultimate sovereignty, but being, at least occasionally, called on to take an actual part in the government, by the personal discharge of some public function, local or general.( Mills 91-92). Hence the electoral process.
Then again we go back to the fundamental question of what makes a government the ideal form of ruling? Frankly there is no ideal form of government as a generalization, but there is an ideal form for a certain time, situation and factors. What worked a hundred years ago couldn’t possibly work now with all the changes and globalization under way. The ideally best form of government, it is scarcely necessary to say, does not mean one in which is practicable or eligible in all states of civilization, but the one which, in the circumstances in which it is practicable and eligible, is attended with the greatest amount of beneficial consequences, immediate and prospective.(Mills, 92). Not only is circumstances and time frame important, but also that if a certain form of government were to be proven that it were the ideal one, that it be implemented in a manner that maximizes the benefit and efficiency of the country and its people. In the end the government is there to rule the people, but more precisely to provide a safe and agreeable country for the exercise of their daily lives.
Just because the vote of the majority is the one that takes the lead, or the one that is implemented, it in no way undermines the minority’s voice nor should it. Every single individual under a certain form of government or voting for a sort of government are in fact doing so with the best interest at heart. Best interest for them, their families and eventually their countries. It may seem they do what they can, with what they have, and hope or be sure that whatever side is taken or voice is heard, it is all for the best. The person bestirring himself with hopeful prospects to improve his circumstances is the one who feels good will towards others engaged in, or who have succeeded in, the same pursuit. (Mills, 93). There are also others who really cannot be bothered in making a decision, or who more precisely tend to agree with whatever the verdict as long as they get to have their lives. There are, no doubt, in all countries, really contented characters, who not merely do not seek, but do not desire, what they do not already possess, and these naturally bear no ill-will towards such as have apparently a more favored lot.( Mills, 93).
Democracy by taking into consideration, or involving all the masses in the process, has in some way encourages the idea of identity and individuality, more precisely freedom of speech. It is a great discouragement to an individual, and still a greater one to a class, to be left out of the constitution; to be reduced to plead from outside the door to the arbiters of their destiny, not taken into consultation within.(Mills, 94). This form of government is constantly involving everyone, and confirming a sense of belonging from the beginning. It could be a direct sense of belonging, as in we care about your opinion. And an indirect one, as in the voter thinking since they take the time to hear my voice it means that in the near future there will always be hope for my preferences to arise, or take form in my life. What is still more important than even this matter of feeling is the practical discipline which the character obtains from the occasional demand made upon the citizens to exercise, for a time and in their turn, some social function. (Mills, 95).
After having said all this, a lot of people would refute everything I have said basing it on one ideal we all seek, that being FREEDOM. For isn’t it in essence necessary for any political form of government nowadays to offer freedom of speech, life, etc… according to Barry that is the case. Thus, some degree of freedom of communication and organization is a necessary condition of the formation, expression and aggregation of political preferences. (Barry, 105). Others may refute the idea of majority and minority, saying that even if the elected representatives were indeed selected according to the majority voting, on the ground the original reason the majority chose them might not even exist. For example like trying to decide on matters concerning taxation, or pension plans or any of the latter, the elected representative can indeed arrive at a decision that is drastically different than the ones the majority wanted, so then again you are in a loop hole. There is no guarantee that elected representatives will on every issue vote in such a way that the outcome preferred by a majority of citizens will be the one chosen. (Barry, 107).
And by taking only the majority vote , they would refute, that no that isn’t taking the minority’s vote into consideration on the contrary it is to say that no matter what you say or do, any amount of people who exceed your number(i.e. number of people that support a similar cause or stance) will indeed be the ones that win, and will as there by reap the greatest of benefits and advantages. The attraction of the majority principle lies in the claim that the majority ‘naturally’ is entitled to act for the whole. (Barry, 112). No one wants to be represented by someone who opposes their views or opinions, and though we have hope of change a lot of people aren’t willing to let go of their views just so they can fit in. That could be a problem.
I support Democracy, if for no other reason than the fact that if my voice were not heard today, it will be heard tomorrow, and if not tomorrow then surely one day. Maybe soon, maybe not, it may take longer than expected, but I know that someday somehow it will be heard and taken into consideration. Who knows my voice along with many could be the driving force of change at one time, with the change of time. Then again my voice could be altered with the change of my situation and wants with time, and I may change my voice to join the one already chosen and hollered everywhere. All of this could happen with good reason. I believe in change, and I also believe that I will say what I want to say and hope to be heard democratically. Things do not have to go my way, just as long as no harm comes my way. Hundreds of able men of independent thought, who would have no chance whatever of being chosen by the majority of any existing constituency, have by their writings, or their exertions in some field of public usefulness, made themselves known and approved by a few persons in almost every district of the kingdom; and if every place could be counted for their election, they might be able to complete the number of the quota. (Barry, 101).




--------------------------------------------------

Claims and Refutes....--->

Democracy as defined by Websters dictionary the government that is formed by the people, or more precisely it is a form of government by which power is given and used by the people themselves. In this paper I will be selecting two claims ive previously come across, and supported by two papers. The first being “Is Democracy Special?” by Brian Barry, and “Considerations on Representative Government” by John Stuart Mill.
The first claim that I will discuss will be taken from Barry’s paper. The claim is that Democracy should be implemented according to the majority rule. He claims that there is a driving force behind the body that is the democracy, and that driving force are the majority of the people. Ofcourse this force constitutes individual acceptances and agreement of people in society and their mutual working together for this democracy. The flaw or fault in this argument is that it does tend to ignore the minority and it rules them out from any decision making or implementation of democracy. Even though it is well known that democracy is based on the majority ruling, we should not neglect the fact that the democracy in and of itself cannot ignore or abuse the power it has to Alienate the minorities and refuse them their rights. In a sense I believe that majorities always exist, but that their mixtures or combinations are constantly shifting with the change of time. For example if we take elections, people themselves change the combination or constituents of the majority by their votes. This is when parts of the minority are heard, and they shift to become part of the majority. For the majority, the ability of the minority to acquire their rights becomes an advantage for them. It is in the self interest of any major group to ensure the rights of the minority, since at any given moment it can become the minority and would need to be in the same position. The only worry here is the ability of the majority to oppress the minority and abuse them.
The second Claim I will discuss is what John Mills believes, that being :- That democracy’s strengths lies in its consequences. That includes it promoting the welfare of the general public, and encourages individuals of society and the community to improve themselves and develop their intellect and moralities. Democracy is precious but very fragile and vulnerable to threats. Absolute power when given into the right hands can have all the formerly mentioned outcomes, especially when dealing with democracy. But seldom does democracy have such outcomes. Unfortunately in my opinion all it seems to be doing is actually corrupting powerful individuals by means of them implementing what they want under false pretenses of being democratic. Unfortunately this occurs because the public at large is usually ignorant in matters of the state and what is going on politically on the inside. They remain without information or enlightenment on all the practices occurring in the political systems of this world. Ultimately, Democracy can only be as good as the people dealing with it choose to make it. All of this also depends on the need for social and public responsibility and the general response from people. In my opinion I think that for man to truly be democratic and honest, he/she MUST rediscover again within themselves a deeper more profound sense of responsibility towards the world and its people. This meaning a greater responsibility towards something higher than the individual himself.
All in all, I believe the ideals of democracy are to create a better harmony between the government and the society by an increase of self-discipline from the majority. What I mean by self-discipline is that, individuals are to obey the law and not protest against the ruling.


A.









If Almost was not a word

Special things happen to special people.... different emotions arise for the emotionally intelligent ones. a different species of ambitions develops when someone thinks they are utterly invincible, and the thing they do they do best, because no one's ever done it.

Well ...?
am thinking ...there are lots of things that i have done, that no body's done. Lot of things am great at, still i don't do. A lot of maybes, perhaps. A lot of missed opportunities.



what if almost wasn't a word? what if we didn't have an option, it was either black or white. what if it was either you made it or you didn't, not almost there. that would be somehow harsh, but how different would the world be, if we didnt have almost.

that only lead to me thinking, where would i be without almost? im almost there. last year around this time i was almost graduating.
Ive almost come to terms with the fact that life has changed, yes im still Thinking bout it because until recently that concept was foreign to me. and many times i would catch myself wistfully thinking of the past.
I'm almost losing my mind, thinking how on earth i am goin to make it. but somehow some way i am doing just fine.

I find myself almost breaking when i think of how change this time is much scarier...and much more real than the first time around for all the changes i have already underwent.

its all those ALMOST(s)....


-----------------------------------------
Where would you be, where would we all be..if almost was not a word.

Love,

A.

Thoughts on Sequins. Over WOW or Over Kill.


When worn esthetically, sequins look alluring. But if you don't get your look right, you could end up looking like a haphazard discotheque embellishment! Shiny, jazzy and eye-catching - sequins is one sartorial bling trend that has always been and will (in my opinion) always be around. Whether it is sported during the daytime or hidden underneath the velvet night sky, sequins can be a deal breaker if not styled correctly and sparingly.
Just as well Sequins can be luxe, as they shimmer on cocktail dresses and gowns or make for a very bold and daring style statement when styled as embellishments for tops, skirts or blazers.

And if you are not just quite as daring as the fashion industry demands you be , you can still experiment, by wearing them in the form of accessories like shoes or bags !!!




Love

A.

Stay tuned for an additional post soon on detail on how to add them to your wardrobe or fashion them into your outfits.

Monday, February 06, 2012

The birthday Cake I ordered for my Beautiful Sister

My sister is the most beautiful and gorgeous eldest sister anyone can ever have. She not only put us all first, she is endlessly giving, generous and kind hearted. She is a second mother to me, and i cannot remember a moment in my childhood where she wasnt around. I can safely say that i was probably stuck to her 24/7 more than i was stuck to my own mother. Albeit being close to Mom, Inaam(my sister) is a different bond. she is my soul mate and i cannot imagine life without her.

Her birthday was two days ago, Saturday Feb 4, 2012. I will not disclose her age, incase she doesnt want the world to know :) but at whatever age she is as gorgeous as they day she was born.

I put together the design of the cake, chose the colors and requested it while bearing in my mind my sister's character.

I Chose the color white : for her innocence and for her pure soul.
I chose pink rose: for her softness, femininity and tenderness.
I chose white Pearls: because they represent her timeless elegance, and the way she Glows, not sparkles. a sparkle can fade away, but a glow is a characteristic within her, a characteristic in my opinion only pearls maintain.
and I finally added a black pearl necklace too : for her uniqueness, i could never find two of her kind. and the color black can never let you down. she is like that pearl necklace.

This is exactly why i chose the cake the way i did.

find attached the pictures :)






Cosmic Love and Glittering wishes,

A.








Don't Steal


My latest piece of writing; Thoughts that persevere

Don't steal moments from my memory, but with care steal years.
For some have been tortured moments, a life drama similar to stories in  broadway theatres.
Yes, steal years.
That way the excuse of a terrible memory maybe enough to forget.
That way the lying would stop
Also, if you were to steal memories of years gone by, dont forget to steal the paths that cross too.
You would save me the trouble of losing my way into a new heartache.
Steal away what you could, alter as you please.
For the moments you keep, I try to forget anyway.

Love of the Cosmos 
A.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

I Ramble Like I was someone you Once Knew


Let’s call it fate,I’ll call it me in Retrospect. Stop, rewind, and pause. No do not play it now, it’s that last message, my will to the world; My legacy of life.How is life a legacy? I am spoken of, I am thought of, I am touched on many levels.
I am Merely human , but inhuman with the life I lead.And to you, reader, I leave you this. The beauty I see through my eyes,the beauty everyone else is blind to.I leave you the threads to sanity, and the way to insanity.I leave you the forsaken love(S) of the world, and the Shaken wills of the weak.I leave you the moments of surrender, and the moments where I stood strong.The casual glimpses I caught of people I never knew would impact me,People now I call friends, lovers, foes.I leave you everything my mind ever thought -every feeling I ever felt- in hopes and prayers that one day, when you have my legacy in your hands I would have given you strength to live. Strength to realize that you need not be reading my life, but living your own and writing about it.
So Dear Reader, is it fate, that your elegantly tapered fingers are flipping through the pages of my life. Or that your curious hungry eyes are scanning the ink entrapped on the surface of those unwillingly long pages. Maybe fate, But couldn’t it have been you stealing my secrets just so you would have to stop thinking of yours?Having something to look at, analyse, criticize. Forgetting our own happiness, sadness, troubles, everything about our lives, and delving into the depths of my life.
My life, an ever interesting thing to a lot of people. Around me, near me, far.People I know, people I don’t. For me, there is always something to talk about and something new to write about. So hold my book closer to your eyes, so that you don’t miss a word. And your hand closer to your heart, so that you don’t miss a beat. For those moments when you remember through my own memories, through my own eyes.
But what if my eyes were to lie, what if my eyes weren’t objective, what if my eyes were biased? No, I won’t ask a lot of questions but bear in mind that they are my eyes and it is my mind. And I am the one feeling. According to what I feel I write, and I create willingly a path to my life, I give away a leaf of my weakness , I give away a part of my bubble. I may not exist to you, but you may know me through yourself. I am the voice you hear every night, wondering about the things you could’ve done, felt, written. But it’s all wonders nothing more.
Within those pages are the enacting of all that you ever wished you could’ve went through, but sometimes watching is better than learning first hand. I do not know regret, nor hate. I am at peace with my past, and at peace with the impending future. Why?! It’s because as I have grown older, I have noticed that the things that worried me back then, mattered not. They were all mere obstacles that my young age couldn’t comprehend.
So Dear Reader Welcome to my world, READ ON!!


A.

I may be on a Roll, I may be High.


Our Dreams, they're made up of real things. We can be part of a make believe world we run to every once in a while. We can call them dreams, fantasies…whatever makes us inhuman for a brief moment. A moment that’s as elusive as the breath of wind on a hot summer day.
In my mind I see a world filled with colors, possibilities, and many facets of what I could've been. But I chose to be me, with all my imperfections. I never said I was perfect, as a matter of fact I am far from it. All I ever meant through my writings was that although my imperfections may seem unbearable at times, I will remind you that I am worth it. I have been worth it every step of the way.
In my mind, there's this city where two worlds ..or many worlds collide… they mix and match the lost souls of individuals searching for an innocence they are not familiar with anymore. So for the third time in my life, welcome to the streets of love.
To the city of sin, to the city where anything is possible. It is my city, and I govern it. Walk the streets with me, learn the impossible, hand in hand.
My lips are reading the words my fingers are typing; I find myself thinking of my own innocence, how I am a 22 year old woman (23 in less than a month) and I am dreaming of the innocent streets of my world, imagine it with me.
P.S. This post marks the Beginning of a yet to be unraveled part of my life. I have learnt much from it, and I have become a better person on several levels. I have a fresh outlook on life, one that is of love. One that taught me that you can love and let go, that you needn’t be with an individual to love them. One perspective that allows you to wish them happiness even if it weren’t with you.
Do you follow?! Brace yourself, for those innocent streets are nothing but the breakthrough and reaching out of a beautiful child of love.

A.